I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize