Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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