Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
