Can Purell be used as lube?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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