Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
