Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
