I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
