My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
