nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Who died my cat blue again?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
