What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
