Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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