i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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