I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
