Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
