She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
