Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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