there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
