hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
