You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
