well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
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He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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