a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When did angry sex become our thing?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
