Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
