i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
