I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
