I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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