I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
