Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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