so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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