I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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