I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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