Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
