somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
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Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
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Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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