you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
