Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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