I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
