i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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