I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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