I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
