I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
