I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
