I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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