I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
