she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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