Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
