why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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