she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
