Pappa wants mamma naked
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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