For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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