Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
