I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
