The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
