There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
