he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
