What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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