Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
