I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize